


another broken thing

by rintintin20



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Dark Poe Dameron, Dark Side!Poe, Gen, Reader-Insert, dark!Poe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-06 10:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15193118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rintintin20/pseuds/rintintin20
Summary: Number one; he was still handsome. But you were wrong about him looking the same.His eyes once held pride and mirth nearly any time you were close enough to see them. Now they seemed devoid of any emotion. A smirk that used to be mischievous and seemed like it was trying to seduce whoever it was aimed at now felt so cold that it sent a chill through you. The dark clothing took away from his youthfulness, and while he maintained his curls, they seemed...too perfect, rather than just falling where they may like he'd just rolled out of bed. All at once, he was Poe Dameron, your ex-commander and acquaintance, and he was a complete stranger.





	1. every knot was once straight rope

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! So I've recently been getting into Star Wars (so as a warning, I've done a lot of research, but I don't know every detail of everything and I apologize if I mess up) and reading lots of fics...and I realized there's not enough Dark Side!Poe. I suppose some could say it's unrealistic, but I don't know. There's potential for even the best to go dark, and Poe's not the best ever (I mean, he is, but he isn't). I came up with this and idk if anyone will enjoy it or approve of it, but here you go. If it's hard to imagine Poe as evil, just know that Oscar Isaac is AMAZING in evil roles and watching some might help. This is rated M because it's just not kid's stuff, but it could be M (or go up to E) for a reason later if it's continued.
> 
> The title is borrowed from a poem by atticuspoetry :)

You heard the stormtrooper that had a hold of your left arm say that  _he_ requested you be brought to him so he could 'see one of his old buddies'.

You were not Poe Dameron's buddy.

You never had been.

That wasn't to say that you disliked him or anything. He was fine — _was_ being the operative word —, it was just that having limited interactions with someone wasn't exactly a good ingredient for friendship. It's like trying to make an air cake with literal air; you end up with nothing and you shouldn't have expected anything in the first place.

Sure, he had been your commander once upon a time, but that never went beyond a demand here or some needed information there. Maybe once or twice you had spoken about something else, but it was rare. He was closest with the pilots in his own squadron, which you were not a part of. You were in a lesser squadron of another rank, there to be used as backup or to be sent straight into the thick of the action. Dispensable, really, though members of the Resistance were too grateful for their efforts to ever admit such a thing. You weren't really sure how many lost pilots were replaced before you became the new replacement, and you didn't care to wonder about it for long.

While you weren't Poe's  _buddy_ , you still knew him a little. In fact, there were at least five things about him that you knew for certain:

Number one; while irrelevant, he was attractive. Quite possibly the most attractive being in the entire universe. Everyone was aware of it and very few were shy about it, none less shy than him. Even you found yourself staring at him from afar sometimes, even though you knew it was ridiculous. There were rumors that he fancied anything that could breathe air — and a few things that breathe water, but you weren't sure you believed that one — and you didn't want to be another one of those things. Even if he was so handsome that it was actually painful.

...okay, there were times when you wanted to be one of those things.

Number two; he was overly confident. Verging on cocky. Some may call him arrogant, which was true sometimes, but he never meant any harm with his pride. He simply knew he was good at...everything. He knew looked good, he knew he flew well, he knew he could fight, and he knew he could probably charm the pants off of anyone he met. He wasn't referred to as a 'poster boy' and 'the best pilot in the Resistance' for nothing, after all.

Number three; he could get a little ahead of himself and get reckless. He was a man with adventure in his heart and things to fight for, so he wasn't afraid to jump head first into things. He also had a difficult time keeping his often sassy mouth shut in the face of danger. His intentions were usually pure, but that didn't mean the outcome was always good. He seemed to have a fun time doing it, even if he ended up in med bay because of whatever he decided to do on a mission.

Number four; he was genuinely good. Yes, he was the aforementioned cocky, reckless, and loose man, but he was not 'bad' by any definition of the word. He was kind and charming, good-tempered and intelligent, caring and humorous, loyal and open. He had faults, but who didn't? Even with his faults, he was just the type of guy you would take back to your home planet to meet your family. Mothers would love him and stuff him with food, which he would never deny and simply stuff in his pocket if he didn't like it. He would probably cry upon meeting his first child. He was the dream man of anyone who'd ever dreamed of a man.

Number five; he was incredibly loyal to the Resistance. Everything he did was for them, to help defeat the darkness that wanted to take over the universe. You heard from other pilots that his parents fought before him, raised him well, and he was quick to follow in their footsteps. His respect for General Organa was clear, and there was no possible way he would ever turn his back on her or them. He was completely trusted by everyone.

But now you were being frog-marched by two stormtroopers to wherever he was, and you had no idea if what few things you knew about him were still true aside from him probably looking the same.

You tried to plan an escape route as you were dragged along, but all the hallways and doors looked the same and you couldn't remember if the first turn that your captors took was a right or a left. Had whoever designed the ship planned this or were they just that boring?

They finally stopped at a door that  _did_ look different, so you could only guess that this one didn't lead to yet another hallway. A small part of you was almost comically relieved to break up the monotony, but the rest of you filled with dread. But this was Poe Dameron. How bad could he really be? You heard a few stories here and there, but they might not be true. And it was certainly better than being delivered to Kylo Ren, right?

The stormtrooper on your right pushed the button for the comm unit by the door, but didn't get to speak before someone on the other end said, "What?"

"We have your...buddy, sir."

They called him sir? That didn't bode well.

"Oh. Come in."

The door hissed open after just a moment and you were, of course, lead inside none-too-gently. You kind of didn't want to look in front of you, where Poe Dameron was bound to be, but he evidently held more power now and you didn't want to test it. Yet.

You wished you had tested it.

There, behind a desk, stood Poe. He was wearing all black, which seemed to be a theme among the First Order, and...

Number one; he was still handsome. But you were wrong about him looking the same.

His eyes once held pride and mirth nearly any time you were close enough to see them. Now they seemed devoid of any emotion. A smirk that used to be mischievous and seemed like it was trying to seduce whoever it was aimed at now felt so cold that it sent a chill through you. The dark clothing took away from his youthfulness, and while he maintained his curls, they seemed...too _perfect_ , rather than just falling where they may like he'd just rolled out of bed. All at once, he was Poe Dameron, your ex-commander and acquaintance, and he was a complete stranger.

"Poe?"

"That's Commander Dameron to you."

You weren't going to submit and weep at his feet, no matter how wrong he seemed. It wasn't who you were and, damn it, this was  _Poe_ , and some stupid part of you still trusted him. Still believed he couldn't go dark and that this had to be an act or something. "You're not my commander."

"Pretty sure I'm anything I want to be to you." Number two; he was still as cocky as ever. You're not sure why you even thought that might change.

"You know what I think? I think that—" Whatever barb you had planned was cut off by a grunt as the stormtrooper on your right jabbed you in the back with their gun and helped the other shove you to your knees. Had Poe given them an order you didn't see? Was this what they normally did when bringing people to him? Did he have enough power that they often brought people to him? Was the trooper just overzealous? Maybe it was best you didn't know the answers.

Legs clothed in black made their way around the desk and stopped in front of you. You were briefly surprised he didn't fight the dress code since he was so himself, then realized that was a pretty stupid thought in the moment.

"What's your name? I'm kinda having trouble remembering." Number three; he still had the sassy mouth that he couldn't keep shut. Not that he was in any danger, no matter what he said, unless he were to suddenly scream out that he hates the First Order. "I mean, help me here. It's on the  _tip of my tongue_." His tone was falsely frustrated, like he was actually struggling.

You looked up at him and said nothing. Even though you didn't know each other well, you _knew_ he knew your name.

"Wow. Ren's gonna have a hell of a time torturing you if you won't even say your name." He gave a slight nod and you immediately felt a blaster pressed to your head.

Okay, now you were getting scared. Poe Dameron, epitome of goodness, was allowing a soldier to hold a weapon to your head. "Poe." You laughed softly, nervously. "This isn't you. Now's when you pull out your blaster and we make a badass escape, right?"

You hoped so. You hoped, at the very least, he would give you a wink or some emotion would show in his eyes that told you he was just waiting to dismiss the stormtroopers before saving you.

He just stared for a moment and then crouched down to meet your eyes. You'd seen him crouch down with BB-8 a few times, praising or conversing with the little droid, patting it affectionately. This did not feel nearly as sweet.

"What's your name?" His voice was firm and his empty eyes seemed more terrifying when they were looking right into yours.

You muttered your name through a clenched jaw.

"Oh, right, I remember you. Pilot number seven." Now you knew which replacement you were. "I guess they'll have to get an eighth, depending on what Ren wants to do to you."

He stood as the stormtroopers hauled you back to your feet and took you back towards the door. Now you were  _really_ scared. Submissive and weepy? Still no. But unlike what you knew of Poe now, you knew that Kylo Ren could do damage.

"No. No, Poe!" You struggled against the stormtroopers fruitlessly. You'd always been better at flying than combat. "Poe, don't let them do this! You're good!" Truly, given your lack of friendship, he had no important reason to help you, but he was so good that he would save almost anyone. But there was that operative word again.  _Was_.

"See you later, kid."

"Poe!" You were brought across the threshold while he just watched. "What did they  _do_ to you?" The door shut with a hiss.

Number four and number five; Poe Dameron was no longer good. Poe Dameron was no longer kind. Poe Dameron was no longer loyal to the Resistance. Poe Dameron was no longer trusted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what did you guys think? Was it awful? Stupid? Surprisingly okay? I hope Poe was in character, despite his darkness. Let me know if you would want this continued or left as is! I can try to delve into what happened surrounding his turn to the dark side and the timeline, and we can see what happens between these two. Depends on what the people want.


	2. the pursued, the pursuing, the busy, and the tired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You ran to the poster, hoping it would just be them bragging about capturing 'the true enemy' or something of the sort, but it wasn't. It was just Poe, staring into your very soul, with some slogan you couldn't be bothered to read twice. You tore it down and took it with you.
> 
> This wasn't the 'poster boy' he was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I continued this because I felt the need to. This isn't the most exciting chapter, just background stuff. Again, I'm no Star Wars expert, I've seen the movies and did a lot of research before starting this story, but it would be very time-consuming to learn EVERYTHING and I may forget stuff. Let me know if I mess up and I'll fix it!
> 
> The chapter title is from The Great Gatsby, which I've never read, so I hope that quote doesn't have context that doesn't match lol

Poe's betrayal was not the first thing to send waves through the Resistance.

But the first thing was just as unexpected.

They had only just begun rebuilding the Resistance, gaining back their strength and returning to their regular duties against the First Order on a new base when a surprise attack came. You were pretty sure they weren't even aiming for her, probably didn't even know she was in the part of the base they hit. No one even knew how they found the Resistance so quickly.

But, still, the fact remained that she was there, and she was unable to protect herself this time.

General Leia Organa was dead.

No one believed it to be true. How could they? It seemed too impossible. She was too constant, too brave, too strong, too _needed_. 'It must be someone else', you heard a new mechanic say beside you as you stood at the scene.

But it was true. No matter how many people insisted that it couldn't be, it was. Just like that, their leader was gone.

A ceremony was bound to happen, attended by Resistance members new and old. You had never been General Organa's confidant or anything of the sort, but you were well aware of how wonderful she was. She felt like a mother to all, and you could name at least a handful of times when she thanked you and your fellow pilots, even though many secretly considered you dispensable. You wondered if that thought even entered her head, or if she considered you just as important as Poe Dameron and his squadron.

She was never one to make you feel unimportant. She made you feel like a vital part of the team.

You tried to hide your tears, to hide the vulnerability, but they made it difficult. They rolled freely down your cheeks and over your jaw, some continuing down while others dropped onto your shirt. Sometimes when you blinked enough tears away, you could make out Poe. He stood stoically, jaw clenched, and you weren't close enough to be able to see his eyes.

Even though you never saw him cry, you knew he took it the hardest. Everyone knew how he felt about her. Sure, she was like a mother to all of you, but the mother-son bond between them was as obvious as his respect for her. Even if he had defied her and she demoted him, wasn't that how those relationships worked?

If you thought Poe Dameron was reckless before — and from what you'd seen and heard, he was plenty reckless — no one was prepared for his recklessness after. It was rare that he ever stayed around, instead leaving without a word on his own missions. It didn't matter that he was a lower rank now, or that someone new was your temporary leader, or that the Resistance had to find yet another new base. He was going after the First Order with a vengeance, finding information, and locations, and allies.

His betrayal was not the second thing that sent waves through the Resistance.

As if you all weren't panicked enough, word had it that Poe forgot to be stealthy and was taken by the First Order while on one of his missions. You didn't need to be his _buddy_ to be worried and terrified. First General Organa, now the Resistance's best pilot? It wasn't the first time, but felt all the more dangerous now.

Everyone was doing their best to get him back. You'd flown out numerous times with your squadron, fueled by the responsibility you felt to make sure a good man like Poe came back safe. Maybe you could be friends once he returned, you thought. Join forces to get the Resistance back to its full strength and take down the First Order. It would be hard without the General, and impossible without Poe, too.

It was a month later, as everyone began to run out of energy, when you found it. The First Order was known for its propaganda, so it wasn't out of the ordinary to see it on a planet you might have a mission on.

What _was_ out of the ordinary was seeing Poe Dameron on a propaganda poster.

You ran to the poster, hoping it would just be them bragging about capturing 'the true enemy' or something of the sort, but it wasn't. It was just Poe, staring into your very soul, with some slogan you couldn't be bothered to read twice. You tore it down and took it with you.

This wasn't the 'poster boy' he was supposed to be.

Nothing shook the Resistance more than his betrayal. Even with the General gone, no one could have known he would turn his back on her. He had been raised so well, been a part of the fight against the dark side for so long, went after them with a nearly terrifying vengeance. Now this?

You refused to believe it. You didn't know Poe closely, but you knew he was too good. Too moral. Too everything nice that could be said about a man. You were sure it had to be an act of some sort. Maybe he needed to pretend to keep them from killing him, or maybe he planned to take them down from the inside. You didn't know the exact reason, but you knew there had to be a good one.

You hadn't been reckless, like him, when they found you. You thought you had been rather inconspicuous as you roamed a planet, but perhaps not. You weren't used to it, after all. You were used to going into battle, in your ship. But running low on pilots meant that you had to step in.

Even though you were new to this, you were _so sure_ that you hadn't been obvious. Yet a couple stormtroopers saw you and immediately knew you were a Resistance pilot. How had they known? You were in civilian clothes, acting like a citizen of the planet, and they still knew.

And so, you were brought onto their ship, your arrival almost cheerfully announced, and brought straight to Poe himself. And he seemed wrong, of course, and you saw no sign of the man you once _sort of_ knew.

You were taken to a cell, deeply terrified and yet still hanging onto the smallest thread of hope. This couldn't be Poe. It just couldn't be. How could someone so good turn into something like this? Maybe he was still just pretending, wanting to make sure they believed him before he delivered _true_ betrayal. The thought gave you comfort, but made you feel naive.

You were restrained upright on some uncomfortable slab that should have kept you struggling and groaning. You were tired from efforts you weren't used to, though, and found yourself dozing.

You wished you had seen his eyes. Maybe somewhere in the time between 'mirth' and 'emptiness', they would have shown something important. A warning. A cry for help before he spiraled down this path. Or maybe they were empty the whole time, and no one had a chance to notice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been playing around with ideas, as writers tend to do, and this felt right. I hope others agree!


	3. stranger than you dreamt it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there you went again, hoping he was about to save the day. You fought your tired muscles to sit up a little straighter, your gaze brightening. Now was when he would knock the man out, set you free, and fly you back to the base.
> 
> "You look terrible."
> 
> Or not. You sunk back against the device, opting to stare at a wall instead of looking at the man you once wanted to be friends with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poe is not nice. Sorry, guys. Also, there's some torture in this chapter. Nothing too intense. I saw a Tumblr post about how Poe is super good and couldn't be evil in episode 9, so now I'm insecure lol. I don't think he'll be evil in episode 9, though. This story is unrelated to the actual timeline. Just thought I would mention that! Enjoy!

You weren't sure how long it was before you fell asleep, but you knew it was such a short amount of time that it made you look weak.

Ah, hell. You _were_ weak. What were you, really, other than a secondary pilot who just barely tried to save the day? Which didn't even work. Obviously. In fact, you ended up succeeding in doing the opposite of your intentions. You wanted to find Poe so you could help keep the Resistance in balance, to restore its strength, and instead you ended up taken by the First Order just like him.

What impact did that have, though, when they could just get pilot number eight?

You woke up to the feeling of water being splashed on your face. At least, you were pretty sure it was water. Did the First Order need water? Your tired mind decided to focus on wondering if Kylo Ren drank water or if he existed on pure hate alone.

You opened your eyes to see...you didn't know who. It wasn't Kylo Ren, or Poe, or even a stormtrooper. They must have had special personnel to dole out the torture because _why wouldn't they_?

"Where is the Resistance's new base?"

Well, he didn't waste any time. You, however, were happy to waste all the time in the world if it meant keeping the Resistance safe for a little longer. Did they think that you would cave so easily? You weren't some big, powerful being, but you weren't pitiful either.

You found yourself asking nobody, from time to time, why they hadn't just attacked again after the first time. They knew where the Resistance was and had them _right there_ , so why retreat without even giving them time to retaliate? There was even time for relocating without a peep from them. Even after they got Poe, nothing came from them. Certainly they would have gotten the location from him?

You instinctively flinched back when the man's hand came up to your face, but you couldn't move far before your head hit the metal of the contraption you were restrained in. Instead of tearing something off of you, as you briefly imagined, he dabbed at your face with a cloth. You just sort of stared for a moment, unsure of what was happening. Some of the water had dripped down your neck and he carefully soaked that up, too.

Suddenly, a lot of metaphorical threads began to weave around that one thread of hope that you had before. Maybe he was a good guy! You knew Finn's story. Maybe this guy was your Finn, except not a stormtrooper and—

A jolt to your body broke you out of your reverie. Every muscle tensed as your electrons reacted to the sudden shock, straining against your bonds.

It couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds, but physical pain could always make things seem like an eternity; you thought it had to be hours before you relaxed in your restraints.

The relief that came from pain fading was interrupted by another, "Where is the Resistance's new base?"

You did not consider yourself to be someone strong and impressive who could withstand torture, but you refused to give in so easily.

"What, your fearless leader can't find it again?"

* * *

 

Honestly, you were stronger and more impressive than you could have believed.

You figured you would give them the information by the fifth shock, especially as you noticed them slowly getting stronger and longer. You were even asked more questions, as if that would make you talk. What is the Resistance planning? What attacks do they have?

As the tenth shock faded, you still had no intention of telling them anything. The Resistance was already weakened without the presence of Leia and Poe, and you couldn't bear the thought of guaranteeing their end. Maybe they would be okay, with Rey and Finn. But what if they weren't? You owed it to them to do something worthwhile, especially since you failed in the efforts to get Poe back. You were too loyal and determined to let anything happen to them.

On the inside, anyway.

On the outside, you were a panting, sweaty mess. You lay limp in what you now knew was a torture device, eyes half-closed, muscles sore from tensing and untensing.

You barely watched as your torturer left the room.

Was that it? No wonder Poe was able to withstand their methods the first time.

The first time.

You didn't even know if they tortured him again to get him like this. You barely even knew _him_ , you just assumed that everything you'd seen and heard about him was true. Darkness could have been lingering in him the whole time, even if that explanation seemed wrong.

Speaking of, the man himself walked in behind your torturer a few moments later. Or a few hours. You weren't really sure.

And there you went again, hoping he was about to save the day. You fought your tired muscles to sit up a little straighter, your gaze brightening. Now was when he would knock the man out, set you free, and fly you back to the base.

"You look terrible."

Or not. You sunk back against the device, opting to stare at a wall instead of looking at the man you once wanted to be friends with.

"I mean, you're still a solid six, but you've really gone downhill." He looked over at your torturer. "Right?"

The other man wore a mask, but it was clear that he was just staring.

"Lighten up a little." Poe walked over and stood by your side, seeming as normal and carefree as ever. You missed it, even though you'd never _really_ directly experienced it. What were you thinking? Of course he hadn't had darkness in him the whole time. They _had_ to have done something to him. "It seems that your new friend thinks it'll help if I'm here, so...here I am."

You opened your mouth to reply, only for him to press a button that sent another shock through you. Your natural reaction to scream was prevented by the constriction of your muscles. The first shock seemed like _nothing_ compared to the last few ones; they were mind-numbingly painful, and if someone told you they'd lasted for days, you'd believe it.

Your scream came as soon as the shock faded and was followed by everything starting to turn black. You were kind of excited, really, to escape in a way.

"You know— hey." Fingers dug into your cheeks and jaw, lifting up your head and shaking you a little, bringing you back to consciousness. "Hey, stay with me."

Why did he have to sound like he was your savior? It was so confusing.

You opened your eyes to look at him, using all your strength to keep from letting them roll back in your head so you could rest. He was smiling. If it weren't for the black fabric below his neck, his too perfect hair, and his empty gaze, you would let yourself think he was good again.

"I was saying that I should've gotten to know you before. You're real stubborn." This was supsiciously sweet and normal, comparatively. He had just shocked you, of course. "It really gets me going."

Okay. You needed to stop wondering in your head about why and how things were. It was clearly getting you nowhere. It was just confusing, and the constant back and forth was exhausting.

You were exhausted enough.

"I...wanted to be your friend." It took so much effort to speak. "Once I found you."

He laughed. Of course it sounded normal; a bright sound that you'd heard across the hangar and in the dining hall many times. "That's not exactly what I had in mind."

You knew that Poe had always been...social. Apparently even if the being he was _socializing_ with lived in the water, though you still didn't really believe that. If he had come onto you before, you might have _just barely_ blushed. Depending on the day, you might have denied him because of the discomfort of being another one of his flings, or begged him to take you right there. Probably the latter.

But this chilled you to the bone. He had just joined in on your torture, now he was making comments like this? It couldn't be an act.

"What...did they do to you?" You couldn't cry. Damn it, you were _not going to cry._ "How can you be like this?"

He stared at you. His upper lip twitched. Then he turned to your torturer, who'd been taking a nice, little break while Poe took over.

"How high can this thing go without damaging a person?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed and everyone was in character!


	4. but here alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You felt like a badass.
> 
> And you know what?
> 
> It wasn't fun. In fact, you hated it. You didn't want to be the brave one who withstood torture to save everyone else anymore. You wanted to take a nap.
> 
> No. You wanted to go back in time to keep General Organa in a different part of the base, and befriend Poe, and make everything normal. If you could do that, everything would be a whole lot simpler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Please enjoy :)
> 
> Chapter title is borrowed from 'Diving into the Wreck' by Adrienne Rich.

They had to stop shocking you at some point. They could only do so much before you would be electrocuted and you wouldn't be able to give them the information they so desperately desired.

Two stormtroopers came in and had to hold you up when your torturer released you from the contraption, but they wouldn't let you fall asleep. Poe left and you vaguely wondered why. He was such a mystery now. How could a man who had been so obvious turn into an enigma?

 _Stop wondering_ , you reminded yourself. It wasn't helping you. You wouldn't know the answers unless you asked and researched, and even then the chances were slim. You were a bit too busy to try anyway.

You stared at your torturer, slumping in the stormtroopers' hold, trying your best to give him a look of cool anger even though you feared what was coming next.

You hadn't expected him to backhand you, of all things.

Your head swung to the side and your cheek stung, but it wasn't like being shocked. You flexed your jaw to ease the sting before turning your head, giving him a level stare.

The second one was harder and caused you to bite your tongue. It was still preferable to getting shocked.

You tasted blood and, rather than swallow it, you spit it right in his face.

Well, mask.

Well, neither. He was a tall, foreboding figure, just like pretty much everyone else in the First Order, and you weren't standing at your full height, so it hit his chest instead. That was still something, at least.

You felt like a badass.

And you know what?

It wasn't fun. In fact, you hated it. You didn't want to be the brave one who withstood torture to save everyone else anymore. You wanted to take a nap.

No. You wanted to go back in time to keep General Organa in a different part of the base, and befriend Poe, and make everything normal. If you could do that, everything would be a whole lot simpler.

The man in front of you suddenly lunged at you, wrapping a hand around your throat. You reared back as much as you could in your current position between the stormtroopers.

"Sir," one of them said before he could tighten his grip. "Perhaps it's time."

You would have asked if it was time to let you go, but you didn't have the energy. You stared at the man until he lowered his hand and walked swiftly out of the room. You were dragged back easily and restrained once more before the stormtroopers, too, walked out.

You were left alone in the dark, save for a few lights on the contraption you supposed you could now call home. Minutes passed by. Your body begged for sleep that your growing terror wouldn't allow.

Time for what? Time for your painful murder? Time for another torture method? Time for some cake?

The door hissed open after some time and in walked Kylo Ren, with Poe walking a few steps behind him. The latter was rigid, his hands clasped behind his back, looking less and less like Poe Dameron by the minute.

The former had you struggling against your bonds with renewed vigor, though the metal hurt and you knew it was useless. What would you be if you didn't try? What would happen to you?

"You're afraid of me."

"That's because you're not stupid, right?" At least Poe was willing to defend you. "Except for the whole 'getting captured' thing." Sort of.

You stopped struggling and opted for tensing as Kylo approached you.

"Tell him where the base is _now_ , kid." Poe's voice was full of warning, which didn't sound threatening so much as urgent.

"Why?" You refused to take your gaze off the dangerous man in front of you. "If you want him to know, why don't you tell him?"

"I barely spent five minutes on base. I don't even remember what planet it's on."

Of course he didn't. He was too busy trying to find the First Order.

Kylo's hand came up and you tensed even more. "Watch." You could tell the demand was directed at Poe and not you. You allowed yourself to look over at the other man, seeing a moment's hesitation before he set his jaw and straightened up.

If there was ever a chance to get through to him, this was it. It had to be. He'd been in your position not so long ago.

"Poe. Poe! Don't let him do this. You know what it's li—" You cried out as your head slammed against the metal behind you.

It tingled at first. Like a hundred needles poking in and out of your forehead again and again, with no pattern or goal. As the feeling spread, it turned into a dull pain.

You tried to resist his efforts, but the more you pushed back, the sharper the pain became. It intensified rapidly and you were starting to be unable to focus on keeping the doors in your mind closed. The pain was so engulfing, you were entirely unaware of your harsh panting and the tears that steadily fell from your eyes.

You could feel it the moment he got the information he wanted. The pain hit its peak, sharp and throbbing, filling your entire head. Were you screaming? Somewhere out there in the universe, you were pretty sure you heard _someone_ screaming.

"Please just kill me!" You didn't know that was you at first, but it was. Submissive and weepy, and willing to accept anything just to make the invasive pain _stop_.

When the pain stopped, so did everything else. Your head fell forward and your breathing became slow and rhythmic as you lost consciousness.

Poe watched you still, his eyes only mostly empty.

* * *

 

You woke up on something hard and cool. You would have thought you were still in that torture chair, but you were curled up on your side with your cheek resting on your very much unrestrained hands.

And it wasn't dark, you discovered, as you opened your eyes and immediately had to close them against light that made your head pound. You slowly and carefully opened them again, squinting to let yourself adjust. The light hurt even though it was dim. You felt like someone reached into your brain and dug around.

Oh. Right.

But why were you here? Had Kylo Ren killed you? You were a little underwhelmed by the small room. There was just enough room to pace back and forth, and you could see a toilet on one side of the room. You supposed you were on something that was considered a bed.

You were alive. You were in a cell.

You looked forward to find the door to your cell was open. There were no bars or sliding doors, just an archway that lead to the hallway. That was odd. You didn't have to think long before deciding you were willing to walk straight into what was probably a trap if it meant a possible escape.

Sitting up was an agonizingly slow process. Your head throbbed, your face hurt, almost every muscle ached, and you felt like you were weighed down by an extra hundred pounds. When you managed to push up onto your feet, you swayed and plopped back down onto the bed, groaning at the contact.

With a deep breath, you used a bit of momentum to push yourself onto your feet, staggering a little before you managed to keep your balance. You stared at the doorway and dreaded the effort it would take to get there.

Your escape should have been daring — though you hardly felt brave after being torn apart by Kylo Ren — yet you merely shuffled your feet across the floor, stopping every few inches to keep from falling over. The door was right there, so close...

"Don't do it."

You stopped just before you reached the threshold. Poe came into view on the other side of the door, stiff and empty again. "I could take you," you said softly.

He could kill you. Even at your full strength, he could probably kill you.

He always _could have_ killed you, but he never would have.

Now? You had no idea. Did he kill for sport? Did he kill at all?

"I could flick you right now and you'd keel over." His smirk didn't reach his eyes. It was as chilling as it had been when you first met this new him. "Seriously, though. It's energy." He gestured to the seemingly empty doorway. "You think you're hurting now?"

He spoke with an experience that you could almost imagine. Poe Dameron, in his rugged choice of clothing, his hair _not_ perfect, eyes angry. Taunting. Based on stories you'd heard of his bravery and foolishness, he probably tried to get past the energy more than once.

That was not this Poe.

"You go through it, then. I could definitely take you."

"You know, I saved your ass." It was nice to hear something different in his tone, even if it was anger. You preferred anger over hollow smugness. "Ren was planning to kill you, but I told him we could get you on our side."

 _Our side._ The combination of your pain and the realization of how deep Poe was in this had you grabbing onto the wall to keep from collapsing. "Poe Dameron recruiting for the First Order? Never thought I'd see the day." The thought had never entered your head, not even once.

Then you remembered it. His hesitance.

"I saw it, you know. You didn't want him to use the mind probe on me." He said nothing, but you couldn't give up hope. You weren't supposed to. There was still good in him. "I don't know what you've done, Poe, but you can come back. Do you think you're going to fare well, working beneath Kylo Ren?"

He stared for a moment, then gave you a smile that was almost sweet, walking as close as he could without touching the invisible barrier. "Do you think using therapy on me is going to make me skip back to the Resistance?" His smile fell, and so did the tentative one that you had started to give back. "You don't know _shit_ about me, sweetheart. You're just some low rank pilot who thought they could save the day and get some recognition. Well, look at you now."

"Look at you." You weren't about to let him tear you down. You figured you had been through more than enough and had no need to be torn apart verbally. "You flew around the universe without a thought, looking for revenge, and now you're Kylo Ren's right hand man."

"Maybe I should've let him kill you."

"That would have been preferable to watching the fall of the Resistance's most trusted member."

"There was no—" He had started to shout, something you weren't sure you had ever heard him do in anger, but stopped, clenching his jaw.

 _What? No what?_ , you wanted to shout, to sate your curiosity and to get insight on how he could have turned like this. You didn't think it was a good idea to yell back, though. And you were still so tired.

"You can keep yourself company."

You watched him walk off, pressing yourself to the wall and sliding to the floor. Something told you that you would have bantered anyway, had you been friends before.

Something else told you that you could get through to him, if you kept trying.

That, perhaps, good and evil weren't black and white. A good person could do wrong things and still be good. A good person could become bad, but be good again someday.

You had to _try_. For the universe. For the Resistance.

For Poe himself, who would be destroyed should he find his goodness again too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	5. with a fearful trill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Were you really going to do it? Had you really sunk so low that you were going to seduce a member of the First Order?
> 
> Granted, the member was Poe. No good, slightly scary Poe.
> 
> And you were also in a cell, sleeping on a bed that felt like it was made of metal, being given water and energy bars to sustain yourself. The Resistance was either under attack or soon would be, and if they lost, you would have no way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desperate times call for desperate measures, folks!
> 
> Chapter title borrowed from Caged Bird by Maya Angelou.

You didn't see Poe for three days.

You had been stuck in your tiny cell for three days. A stormtrooper — you weren't sure if it was the same one or a different one every time — came twice a day to give you a cup of water and some nutrient-dense ration bar that tasted sweeter than a sweet-sand cookie. The hungrier you were, the less you were put off by the overwhelming sweetness.

Each time your meal was delivered, you tried to get them to talk.

_What's your name?_

_Have they found the Resistance yet?_

_What's it like, having to kill people_ and _take care of those who were wrongfully imprisoned?_

They seemed to be glaring from behind their mask at that one, but they never dared to answer your questions. They would just set down the tray and leave.

When you weren't eating or sleeping, you were doing some exercises to get your strength back. Really, you could only pace back and forth in your cell, but it helped.

The torture and having Kylo Ren searching through your mind had taken out so much of you, you still weren't one hundred percent. Ninety percent, perhaps. Which still wasn't that great, since you weren't a good fighter even at your full strength and energy.

And you would need to fight if you wanted to get out of here.

You'd need to get out of your cell first, though, and you didn't know how you could go about that. You couldn't get through the energy that made up the door, and you'd most likely be shot with a blaster if you tried to run out when you were brought a meal.

You imagined that faking an injury wouldn't garner much sympathy. You might even end up with real ones for fun.

Seducing a stormtrooper didn't seem like it would work, since they wouldn't even speak to you. Weren't they rigorously trained anyway? They probably didn't even know what arousal and temptation were.

You very briefly considered seducing Kylo Ren, should he come by, but you laughed so hard that you nearly scared off the trooper who was bringing you breakfast that morning.

Then there was Poe. That gave you pause.

Could you seduce Poe Dameron? You would have jumped at the chance to spend a night with him just a few months ago, but you probably wouldn't have approached him. Not only to keep up appearances and keep yourself from making mistakes, but also because it was a little intimidating.

You weren't going to let him tear you down, but you _did_ know you were a low rank pilot. It would have been crazy, someone like you propositioning someone like him, who had his pick of the litter and took what he pleased.

Now Poe himself was intimidating, in a much more dangerous way. You had no idea what could come from offering yourself up to him, and you were honestly a little afraid to find out.

He had goodness in him, yes, but it was something that needed brought out. Until you got through to him, he was capable of being a man to be feared. You knew that now.

Maybe seduction would help you get through to him.

None of it mattered, of course. You'd clearly pissed him off, so you doubted he was going to come around.

Imagine your surprise when he approached your cell with a tray. "Is this really what they're feeding you? You should order something else." He pushed something on the wall outside your cell before stepping in, reaching in and setting the tray down. He pushed whatever it was again once he backed into the corridor, assumedly restoring the energy shield.

You were too thirsty to take the time to glare at him, instead bending over with as much dignity as you could to pick up the tray. He watched your every move. How were you supposed to seduce _that_?

You sat on your 'bed' and took a sip of water.

"What, you're not gonna talk to me? I'm hurt."

He didn't seem to be angry anymore. And he was willing to talk to you, unlike stormtroopers, so you asked, "Has the First Order destroyed everyone I love yet?"

"What do you mean?" He smiled. "I'm right here."

You did glare at him this time. You loved Poe in the same way you loved everyone else in the Resistance; you wanted them all to stay safe, and happy, and good. But his comment was irritating as a response to your heavy question. "I wasn't talking about you."

"Oh, come on. Didn't you say you wanted to be friends? And you think I didn't notice the way you used to look at me?" And you had tried to be subtle about that. He'd given no indication that he saw the looks on your more...lustful days. "I was top of the list."

You were about to say that General Organa was top of the list, but you stopped yourself just as you opened your mouth. Having brought up your 'love' for him, now would be as good a time as ever to try and seduce him.

Were you really going to do it? Had you really sunk so low that you were going to seduce a member of the First Order?

Granted, the member was Poe. No good, slightly scary Poe.

And you were also in a cell, sleeping on a bed that felt like it was made of metal, being given water and energy bars to sustain yourself. The Resistance was either under attack or soon would be, and if they lost, you would have no way out.

"Sure, I had a...little crush on you." You wanted to sound tempting. Instead, you sounded stilted and awkward. But you were new to this. You'd never been imprisoned before, therefore you never had to try to seduce your way out before.

"Little?" His chuckle was insulting. "You undressed me with your eyes every time I got anywhere near you."

You clenched your jaw to hold back a retort. You needed to be sweet, not make him angry again. He was your best bet and you couldn't have him ignoring you for another few days when you could spend that time wheedling him.

You set aside your tray and stood up, walking to the door. "Okay, I had a crush on you. Who didn't?"

He was looking you over with an interest that would have flattered you most days, before all of this. You felt a small flutter in some part of you, but it was soon reminded not to do so when you looked at his clothes and his perfect curls.

"I should've made time for you, huh?"

"A low rank pilot like me?" You were sure you were giving him doe eyes. Either that, or you were looking at him like you were crazed from near-solitude.

"Sure." He made no move to reassure you about your position, which was expected. He was the one to refer to you as such in the first place. "How can I make up for it?"

"Well, you could..." You paused. Asking him right away to let you out would be a huge mistake that would alert him to your plan. You decided to start small. "You could get me something decent to eat."

He stared at you and you started to lose confidence. Why did you even try? Poe wasn't stupid and you weren't charming. He was bound to see through you.

"I'll get you something."

You had to hide your triumphant smile, watching him as he looked you over again and turned to walk away. It had actually _worked_.

Now you felt more confident in your ability to work your way up to convincing him to let you out.

Though, maybe along the way, you could fix him and no convincing would be necessary.


End file.
